


The Nurse

by Starbird



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Autobiographical, Betrayal, Gen, Partisans, Pre-Canon, Sexual Assault, traitors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 17:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12258711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/pseuds/Starbird
Summary: Jyn is betrayed by a close friend. The apology never comes.





	The Nurse

**Author's Note:**

> You know who you are and what you did.
> 
> Autobiographical.

The Partisans called her “the nurse” because she was more handy than any of the rest of them with field medicine. Jyn was fifteen when they met, and they became easy friends, of a sort. As much of a friend as Jyn ever had, anyway. She trusted the nurse, and she laughed with her. They seemed to understand one another, and they were the same age. But underneath it all, Jyn sensed something dark, a viper lurking and ready to strike. A snake in the hushed grasses.

 _You knew what she was_ , Jyn reflected back later, years later, when she was older. _You knew better._

She forgave too easily then, and she felt bad for the nurse. No one wanted to take her into their circle. They used her for what she was good at, and then they were done with her. It was what it was, but the nurse could never fully understand that. She was angry a lot and exploded at Jyn about it. Pity, pity, pity was expected of Jyn, and soon, she began to tire of it.

It was when she was getting ready to tell Saw that the nurse had to go, that the incident happened. There had been too much alcohol, and Jyn had found herself laughing with the nurse again as if nothing had gone wrong with their friendship over the last six months. They were alone in Jyn’s room, and she was tired and ready to turn in. The nurse had always had a disturbed mind, but this night, for a reason Jyn would never know, was somehow different. She said things that should never have been spoken aloud, things Jyn could barely stand to think back on later, and Jyn knew she should tell the nurse to go.

She didn’t tell her to go. _She should have._ But Jyn was too nice then, and she felt too much pity for the nurse.

The nurse swooped in, covering Jyn’s mouth with her own, pushing her shirt aside and fondling her bare breast, and Jyn shoved her back so hard the nurse hit the wall. _What the fuck is wrong with you?!_ she screamed. _You call yourself my friend? You're supposed to care about people.  
_

Saw burst in, and Jyn screamed about what had happened. First Codo, and now the nurse. And Jyn wondered, _Is there something about me that invites this?_

Saw was furious at the betrayal. He grabbed the nurse by her curly brown hair and threw her to the ground. She struggled, crying and clawing at his hand as he dragged her away from Jyn’s room. Jyn took deep breaths, listening to the nurse cry as Saw paraded her through the rest of the Partisans, an example of what to never do.

The nurse never apologized.

The next day, the nurse was gone, and the Partisans knew never to utter her name again. Jyn saw rage in Saw’s eyes.

 _I shouldn’t have had so much to drink,_ she said to him. _It’s my fault._

It wasn’t her fault, he said. Some people were just damaged and didn’t know the light from the dark.

 _But no one gets away from you unscathed_ , he said. _There isn’t a place in this galaxy she could hide, should you choose revenge._

Jyn nodded, and she thought about it for a long time afterward. The nurse had had an opportunity to make it right, and she hadn’t. _We’re alone here,_ the nurse had said of their friendship once. _You’re like my sister._

The betrayal stung, even though Jyn knew how deeply damaged the nurse was. _Some things can’t be fixed, my child_ , Saw said. _Some things…some people…_

 _I suppose there isn’t an answer why_ , Jyn said, worrying at a spot on a plank of the sagging wood table. She felt a splinter go into the pad of her thumb, saw bright blood well up, yanked the splinter out.

 _There isn’t always,_ Saw replied. _And sometimes, there is never atonement. You will have to live with that, Jyn._

Jyn shook her head and pulled the shred of wood free.

She never did truly understand why the incident happened, but she locked it in a dark part of her mind until the day came when she could face it again and feel forgiveness. It would be easier, she thought, if there were an apology.

The apology, though, never came.


End file.
